February 9, 2023 | Rewrite your love story this Valentines Day
When I was a teenager I used to think I was so mature because I had this poster on my wall that said,
“If you love something set if free, if it comes back to you, it is yours, if it doesn’t, it never was.”
Two of my favourite songs at that time was “Love Hurts” by Nazareth and “You Were Always on My Mind” by Elvis Presley.
One day when I was thinking about my love-life, I realized that I kept having situation after situation that required my relationship to be challenged where it would come to a decision of letting him go and wait to see if he came back and then he would be my love. Or situations where he didn’t treat me very good but I believed ‘I was always on his mind’ and I would forgive him because I believed I was his true love and that he would always love me. Crying as I was listening to the song “Love Hurts”, I was thinking about how painful it is to be in love. I was a hopeless romantic. The name of my boyfriends changed but the story stayed the same. At that time in my life, I just accepted this is what love is and how love was expressed in my life…
…until one day I woke up and I decided not to listen to those songs anymore or have that poster on my wall anymore. Then my love-life story completely changed.
For me, there was so much pain and emotion attached to certain quotes and certain songs that every time I would read or listen to them they would create a narrative and a love story that I didn’t want to be true for my love life. Today if any one of those things creates a pang in my stomach or heart. I just don’t listen to them anymore. The day that I realized this was so liberating for me that it changed the way I viewed my love relationships and my life.
For the last seven years of my life, my tag line on facebook has been “to love and and be loved” and without a doubt I have had so many beautiful moments in my life where I have had the chance to love someone so wholly and I have been loved wholly and completely – my current relationship with my husband is no exception.
We have a beautiful love story that is filled with passion and love and all the wonderful things that make this life truly worth living. It didn’t start out that way but we wrote the story to become that. After nearly seven years of being together, I can honestly say I have a love-life that is totally fulfilled in every way. Not only do we share a deep love for each other, there is no one I would rather be with every moment of every day – but we have share the raw passion that creates this beautiful connection between a man and woman. Sharing these feelings with someone helps you to get through all the trials and tribulations that life puts in front of you. It gives you this spark to carry on and face together anything that life throws at you. Just like what a spark plug does for an engine this is what your passion does for your life. It ignites your soul.
It didn’t start out this way but we wrote it this way and it became what it is today. There are things that we did to create this.
Mat has always said that the reason we have such a great relationship now is because we didn’t start out with our cups already full for each other. We had to fill them. What this means is that we never experienced that crazy ‘honeymoon phase’ where your first three months are bliss. You are so totally into that person , in love (well actually infatuated) with that person. Then when you hit your three month anniversary and you don’t realize until way later that you had hit the peak of your relationship. You realize there really wasn’t anything there and you spend the next months/years trying to get the feelings back that you had during the first three months. Never really getting back there but because those feelings were so strong, you can’t let the relationship go. What you shared in the beginning becomes an obsession to get it back. Even though relationship wise you aren’t compatible and you should have ended it years before, you don’t because you are chasing that feeling you once experienced with him/her/them. In our case, we purposely filled up each of our love cups over the last seven years so that today they are over flowing with love for each other
‘Love is a not a noun – it is a verb!‘
That means that love is action. Love is a choice and you create your choice of love and your love story. The actions that you do everyday support that choice. So the second thing we did was make the choice that divorce is not an option – ‘forever’ is the choice. So because we have made this choice our actions support this decision and this choice. As every moment of every year that goes by we get to experience this unending love and choice. Our hearts and our love grow more everyday.
‘Divorce is not an option – forever is the choice.’
Along with the choice that forever is the option comes unconditional love. When you love someone unconditionally it means that you make their happiness as important to you as your own. I can guarantee that if you do that – there isn’t nothing you and your relationship can’t get through. Mat and I work full-time together along with being married as husband and wife. There is no one on this earth that I would rather work with and build our business and our life together.
So the moral of this little Valentine’s story is stop listening to music that makes your heart hurt, stop quoting quotes that don’t support the love life you want to have. Stop hanging onto the familiar because it is what you have always known. Go and create your new love story. Rewrite your love story this Valentines Day and ask yourself “What is your love credo?”
Change your story – change your love-life!
